D.I.Y. S-U-C-K-S

We're into our second week of wallpaper stripping, sugar soaping, sanding, filling, priming, and of course, cleaning up after each day of fun. Yesterday was my first experience with oil-based paint and it was awful. At the end of the day, Iain had paint on his feet, drops on his shoulder, and his hands. I was covered. My feet and hands were WHITE, it was on my face, all over my clothes, and up and down my legs. While cleaning myself off with a gallon of turpentine, I was asked by Iain to stay put, since every time I walked anywhere I left a mark.

Turpentine removes oil based primer, but not self-tanner.

Then we realized that we couldn't take showers because the ceiling and walls were still wet, so we had to make do with grody sponge baths. The evening was capped off with "Survivor" and "Trading Spouses" before crashing on our aerobed.

In unrelated news, we made an insurance claim for my lost/stolen camera. The claim was accepted over the phone and we gave them the information on what brand and model was lost. Within the hour, the insurance company called the electronics store to order a replacement camera, and it's waiting for us to pick up. How amazing is THAT? The best part was the friendly police woman who asked if we needed counseling for our recent trauma. I love this country!

When we pick up the camera, I'll be able to post pictures that are actually relevant!

The Warehouse

Iain is obsessed with New Zealand's version of Kmart and Target. Only it's NOT Target -- not by a long shot. I knew about The Warehouse before I ever came to NZ -- it's the only place Iain is willing to purchase new undies. Now that we're here, I don't think a day goes by when we don't have to stop at The Warehouse to pick something up. Iain's motto is, "Let's see if The Warehouse has it first." This is fine for cheap kitchen items, paint tools and the occasional tshirt, but I'm getting scared that this will start applying to anniversary gifts and birthday presents.

My growing fear of The Warehouse is spurned on by their jingle (featuring children singing "The Warehouse - where everyone gets a bargain!") that's been seared on my brain since we got here.

No Oscars

We won't have Sky TV hooked up in time, so for the first time EVER I am missing the Academy Awards. It was bad enough not having the Golden Globes!!

I guess while everyone else is commenting on the red carpet, I'll be scraping paint off window frames or watching Coronation Street on one of the 2 channels we get.

Attached is a completely unrelated picture of Iain, me and our friends in NYC on the Staten Island Ferry, August 2006.

No Camera

Well, we went out on Friday with friends and somewhere along the way, I managed to lose my camera. So, I'm unable to post any updated pictures of the house and the cats or any of the big bugs that are in the house right now since we have no screens. Instead, I've substituted an old picture of Carol Potter from Beverly Hills, 90210.

Television

When Iain isn't staining the deck in his Missy Elliot poofy jumpsuit while I'm inside stripping the walls, we're enjoying our favorite new pastime: music television.

I remember these things called music videos back in the 80s and 90s, but for some reason they were replaced by really annoying hip hop specials and relentless countdowns featuring rejects from sketch comedy shows (die Mo Rocca!). Not so over here -- I just finished watching the Backstreet Boys new video! And this Sunday they're playing a Behind the Music (remember those?) on Britney and K-Fed. Now I'm watching Dashboard Confessional. Wait -- it's over and Rihanna just came on. Crap.

This is all the news I have to report. Our furniture arrives on Mon March 3. Excuse me, 3 March. We're getting used to our nylon tailgater chairs (with built-in beverage holder) while using paint cans for tables.

OH! We also get "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" -- fantastic!

THE HAPPIEST DAY OF OUR LIVES!!!!!!

Yeah, our wedding was cool, too, but WE GOT THE CATS!!!!!!! In keeping with the prison theme, I'd hoped to post a picture of a chain gang and/or draft something that Morgan Freeman might narrate (not including vile ‘Bucket List’ phone-in). Oh well.

We were worried our boys toughened up in the big house. Tama is small and shifty-eyed. With a red handkerchief on his head and a shiv in his paw, he might be ok, but Blue would be someone’s bitch.

Thankfully both cats are fine and Blue has even lost a bit of weight. Blue wasn’t quite sure what to do when he saw us: he got a bit poofy, but was also purring. Tama developed a disturbing guttural meow (no doubt from some rough time in the hole) which disappeared, thankfully.

(Shelby: imagine Mo Sil’s meow suddenly coming out of Tucka!)

They adapted almost immediately to their new home, eagerly exploring every room (meowing every few seconds to make sure we were still there). We made a little hiding spot for them in the closet, and bought them a cheap blanket (featuring the cast of High School Musical!) but of course they ignored it and went right for the shelves in the hall closet.

It was a little awkward when our friendly neighborhood kitty came ‘round (he’s been visiting daily). I wanted to go outside and say hello, but felt badly because Blue & Tama can’t go outside yet. The cats all seem eager to meet each other, which was interesting! Although neighborhood kitty looks totally confused by Blue's overt gestures.

After an hour or two of checking out their new digs, the cats did what all cats do: went to bed and ignored us for the rest of the night.

Perfect!!!!!!

Play It Again Slam

Well, we’re broke. We purchased a fridge, microwave, washing machine, and a TV in one day, after having lunch at the neighborhood Denny’s (where Iain got an Indian dish - WTF?)

The television – a FLATSCREEN – won’t have SkyTV (satellite) for another week. That means that right now we get 2.5 channels. The .5 is for the channel that goes in and out, but we’re so lame we actually watched it. We also watched an episode of “Rock of Love” which is more shameful.

We passed Al Gore on the way home yesterday!

Isn't our landlord supposed to do this stuff?!

We’ve been in the house for about 4 days and it hasn’t exactly had the idyllic new home romanticism I’d hoped. The whole DIY thing always sounds so great: it's just the two of you, you're working on your house together, it's so much fun. Bur right now, it kind of sucks. I've been a bit snarky and it's costing a small fortune. To my horror, the entire house is wallpapered (I thought it was paint). Thankfully it’s a relatively new house (1970s) but it’s still a huge pain in the ass. Iain is in charge of the outside (deck staining, windows, eventual house painting) and I’m in charge of the inside.

The other reality check for me is that when it’s your own house, you suddenly have to give a damn about doing things right. In the many apartments I lived in, things like sanding and primer were laughed at: “I don’t own it!” I’d say while gleefully slapping green paint all over a wall while drinking my vodka and club and half watching Law & Order.

But in a few weeks I should be finished, and it will hopefully look a billion times better. Although, the kitchen and bathroom tiles are a fleshy terra cotta hue – anyone have any suggestions on what paint color goes best?

The one thing I’m having a really tough time getting used to is that I am no longer in an apartment and don’t have to worry about the noise I’m making. I accidentally slammed a paint can on the floor today and cringed, immediately thinking of the various downstairs neighbors I’ve had for the last 10 years.

Maybe now that we’re in a house I can start yelling again! “IAIN!!!! DINNER!!!!!!!!!!” (Iain will read this and say, “And when did you STOP yelling?”)

Auckland!

While driving through Auckland on our way to the house, we saw a HUGE rainbow. It was so cool, and we took it as a really good omen.

Even better, though, was the very chatty neighborhood kitty who greeted us on our first day!

We're Here!

We've been in the house for about 3 days now, and only just got our internet hooked up this morning.

I've attached a picture of Iain, opening the front door for the very first time. About 30 seconds later, I busted in after him and set off the alarm (oops) which we then couldn't turn off.

We got a cheap bottle of champagne and enjoyed our first night in our new house (like a complete dork, I started crying right after the picture was taken).

The End of the Trip!

Today is Friday, Feb 15th (happy birthday, Irv!). We’ve packed up for the last time (!!) and will make our way up to Auckland to our house. Our kitties get out of quarantine in five days! (I keep asking Iain, “Now did the guy definitely say the 20th? Do you think we can pick them up in the morning or do they have to stay for the full day?” I’m going to call the guy first thing Monday morning to get all of the details.

Our furniture is still on a container ship and won’t arrive for two more weeks, so we’ll be sleeping on an Aerobed and grilling out, while cleaning and painting and getting the place ready for our stuff.

After we buy an Aerobed, a grill, and a few temporary necessities like cheap towels & sheets, we begin the fun of shopping around for a TV. Iain has stated that he doesn’t want a flatscreen. Interesting.

The Biggest Losers

Television in NZ leaves a lot to be desired, especially with the limited coverage in the motels and B&Bs. We spend a lot of nights reading (no, really) but we’ve also gotten totally hooked on Survivor and The Biggest Loser and Trading Spouses. We toast our glasses every time someone cries, which they do like every 5 minutes on the Biggest Loser. We're such hypocrites - all we did in Philly was criticize people who liked reality TV and now we can't watch enough of it.

Valentine's Day

Iain caught a fish! I sat on the grass fending off ducks while reading a magazine.

Solitaire Lodge: A Rant

In 2005 when we stayed in a rental house on the lake, we took a little boat around the lake and happened to pass by the ultra ritzy five-star Solitaire Lodge (http://www.solitairelodge.com). I’m a hotel freak and immediately decided that we should stay there one day, although it seemed interesting that our mid-priced house rental was just down the street with the same lake access and views. I was curious: “What does Solitaire Lodge offer that you can’t get in a rental?”

Thinking it might be a cool place to go for Valentine’s Day dinner (and more than a little curious to see what it looks like up close) I asked Iain to drive over. My first impression is that their signage typeface screams 1986 (if I had decent internet access I’d look up the font so you could see it and go, “Oh, yeah.”). We barely made it in the driveway when an employee in a golf cart wearing pleated pants wheeled up to us and asked if he could “be of assistance”. Now, I was in my bathing suit and a wet tank top from Target. Iain was in shorts and a wet tshirt. We could’ve been bums from in town…. or we could’ve been unassuming billionaires with frugal habits. I’m half-joking, but I attribute this ambiguity to the guy’s reserved politeness: he wasn’t exactly welcoming, but answered our questions with civility (sort of like when you walk into a nice restaurant and ask if you can use their bathroom – yeah, I’ve done it.)

We told him we were interested in Valentine’s Day dinner and could we please see a menu. There’s no menu – it’s a prix fix four course meal for $160 each. We were also told that we’d be seated away from the lodge guests. I said a phony, “Great – we’ll give you a call!” while Iain thanked him and asked if he wouldn’t mind filling up our water bottle. Walking towards the main reception area, I managed to catch a tiny glimpse of the inside lounge which overlooked the lake. It looked really nice but had the same exact view we had in the house in 2005.

Despite the disapproving looks of the front desk hostess, I snagged a brochure. Here is the best part: the minimum nightly price is $845 (US$670). I read it again – that’s per person! For a queen sized bed, too!!! Although I bet at that price they have decent internet.

The lodge (which I admit is beautiful) only has 10 rooms and guests eat all of their meals together at one large table to encourage socializing – pure hell, regardless of the setting.

So, it sounds like Solitaire Lodge is like our honeymoon at stupid Tiamo (please refer to http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g147425-d248380-r6052449-Tiamo_Resorts-Andros_Out_Islands_Bahamas.html for my snarky TripAdvisor review).

Point of story/rant: rent a house. Or stay in a B&B.

The town of Rotorua is known for two things: amazing lakes and volcanic thermal pools. When you’re in town, it smells like sulphur. In fact, one of the local radio stations dubs itself “Sulphur FM”, boasting the “phatest music” in the area. But we won’t be taking advantage of the mud baths and thermal pools because it involves socializing with other people (and sulphur). Instead we’ve chosen to head out to remote areas of the lake for swimming (me) and fishing (Iain). Here’s a picture of the beautiful black swans that hang out in the lakes.

One of the Best Places in the Whole World

Iain and I went to NZ together in 2005 and one of our fondest memories was the few days we spent with friends on Lake Tarawera in Rotorua. (some of you may remember the picture of the huge, scary weta that I sent out). Lakes rule. For me, maybe it’s a childhood thing (Lake Erie!) - I like the sea but I LOVE lakes.

With our Nelson trip screwed, we were hoping that a few days on the lake ever would provide us with a memorable “last hurrah” before re-entering the real world. We didn’t want to wing it with our usual “let’s get there and find a motel”. The morning we left Wellington I spent a frazzled hour online (totally not enough time) trying to find a motel, B&B, or lodge for the next 3 days. Iain made a desperate attempt at finding a rental house right on the lake but anyone who ever did a search for “vacation rental homes” will understand that the research does not begin and end in one measly hour.

As luck would have it, I found a self-contained apartment adjacent to a house – it's overlooking the lake and the price was right (well, a little more than we wanted to spend but not much). To cover our bases, we still checked out 3 other places – we’re still shell-shocked from the crappy motel in Glenorchy!

And so here we are – the only disadvantage being the internet access (we have to use their private home office). But it’s a beautiful location and the weather is awesome. After 3 days of non-stop travel, Iain is thrilled at the thought of sleeping in.

Wellington!

We’re very happy to be back on the north island – closer to home and our cats. We stopped off for a night in swanky Wellington where we had some drinks with our friends Brian and Melanie, who moved here from Philly about 18 months ago. It was awesome to talk to some fellow expats. We enjoyed some fries and more monstrous glasses of Hoegaarden at this kick-ass Belgian place Melanie picked out (we originally suggested this place near our hotel stupidly named ‘The General Practitioner’ but we were wisely vetoed).

We totally lucked out on dinner – we happened to wander into a place called Chow that served amazing Asian food and huge bottles of Sapporo (Iain was thrilled). Turns out it was 2-for-1 night! Woo-hoo! Yea Wellington! Of course, we ended up ordering more food than we needed, thereby negating the potential savings.

The Grammy Awards

The Marlborough Sounds

Half the ferry trip is spent traveling through the Marlborough Sounds – I’ve attached some footage (I sped it up to make it shorter).

Note: lower the volume - I forgot to mute out the annoying wind sounds.

The North Island!!!!

We took the ferry from Picton to Wellington across the Cook Strait. I’ve only taken 3 ferries in my life and they were all pretty small, so I was unprepared for the size of the ship. There’s 9 decks, 2 movie theatres, 2 cafés, 1 bar, and has enough room for dozens of cars and huge trucks. It’s quite impressive. Iain is a huge wuss and doped up on seasickness pills. I toughed it out with a piece of pizza and bottled water.

I Hate Starbucks

These signs aren’t even in a Starbucks but I still hold them responsible. A barista contest? WTF?

Wine Country

On our way to get the ferry over to Wellington, we drove through the famous Marlborough wine country, which might’ve been fun if didn’t have a 5-6 hour drive ahead of us. It was also really rainy. There were really cool signs everywhere for the annual wine festival – if we’d had time I would’ve tried to find out where to get one. I wasn’t even able to get a picture because Speedy McCranky was on a mission to get us to the ferry.

Nelson

One of the places I was most looking forward to seeing is Nelson, a seaside town towards the top of the south island. The plan was to spend 3 glorious days on the beach, hiking and kayaking around Abel Tasman park, eating seafood, and just enjoying not having to drive anywhere.

Sadly, the weather had other plans. We left due to rain and wind. The rain is great news for the farmers (there’s been a drought all over the country) but not so great for us.

Even though it has nothing whatsoever to do with anything, I attached a random picture of the ginormous glass of Hoegaarden I got at a local restaurant.

"Bill's Box"

Here’s a picture of a dog in the back of a sheep truck. The dog has his own box he can crawl down into that allows him to stick his head out and bark at all of the cars. There's a little sign on the box that read "Bill's Box". I wish I’d be able to film this. Bill was having the time of his life.

Cats

Pete and Zeke have two wonderful kitties. I admit - we totally cheated on our cats with their cats. It was just so nice to wake up with a cat curled up by our feet!

Pete & Zeke!

In Christchurch we spent the night with our friends Pete and Zeke who have the most incredible garden, vineyard, chickens, food, wine, and cats. I’ve posted a bunch of pictures to give an idea of how gorgeous their land is.

It was also so nice to be in a house with friends, not a motel. We all stayed up quite late talking and enjoying our wine!

Zeke went to her garden to pick fresh tomatoes and beans to go with our delish dinner (pasta!!!!) with Pete’s homemade pesto, Bolognese sauce, and of course, wine. The next morning we had fresh eggs, bacon and homemade jam and butter.

Considering the amount of eating we’ve done on this trip you’d think we’d be exercising a little restraint by now, but you’d be wrong. It was pure gluttony and we loved every minute. We left with a case of wine -- very generous!!