Solitaire Lodge: A Rant

In 2005 when we stayed in a rental house on the lake, we took a little boat around the lake and happened to pass by the ultra ritzy five-star Solitaire Lodge (http://www.solitairelodge.com). I’m a hotel freak and immediately decided that we should stay there one day, although it seemed interesting that our mid-priced house rental was just down the street with the same lake access and views. I was curious: “What does Solitaire Lodge offer that you can’t get in a rental?”

Thinking it might be a cool place to go for Valentine’s Day dinner (and more than a little curious to see what it looks like up close) I asked Iain to drive over. My first impression is that their signage typeface screams 1986 (if I had decent internet access I’d look up the font so you could see it and go, “Oh, yeah.”). We barely made it in the driveway when an employee in a golf cart wearing pleated pants wheeled up to us and asked if he could “be of assistance”. Now, I was in my bathing suit and a wet tank top from Target. Iain was in shorts and a wet tshirt. We could’ve been bums from in town…. or we could’ve been unassuming billionaires with frugal habits. I’m half-joking, but I attribute this ambiguity to the guy’s reserved politeness: he wasn’t exactly welcoming, but answered our questions with civility (sort of like when you walk into a nice restaurant and ask if you can use their bathroom – yeah, I’ve done it.)

We told him we were interested in Valentine’s Day dinner and could we please see a menu. There’s no menu – it’s a prix fix four course meal for $160 each. We were also told that we’d be seated away from the lodge guests. I said a phony, “Great – we’ll give you a call!” while Iain thanked him and asked if he wouldn’t mind filling up our water bottle. Walking towards the main reception area, I managed to catch a tiny glimpse of the inside lounge which overlooked the lake. It looked really nice but had the same exact view we had in the house in 2005.

Despite the disapproving looks of the front desk hostess, I snagged a brochure. Here is the best part: the minimum nightly price is $845 (US$670). I read it again – that’s per person! For a queen sized bed, too!!! Although I bet at that price they have decent internet.

The lodge (which I admit is beautiful) only has 10 rooms and guests eat all of their meals together at one large table to encourage socializing – pure hell, regardless of the setting.

So, it sounds like Solitaire Lodge is like our honeymoon at stupid Tiamo (please refer to http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g147425-d248380-r6052449-Tiamo_Resorts-Andros_Out_Islands_Bahamas.html for my snarky TripAdvisor review).

Point of story/rant: rent a house. Or stay in a B&B.