Kiwis Can't Do Pizza

This is why I miss simple Italian-American food.

Excerpt from a local pizza menu:

Italiano
Char-grilled vegetable relish, cheese, mushrooms, pepperoni, olives, capers & anchovies
Greek
Char-grilled vegetable relish, cheese, olives, capsicums, sun-dried tomatoes, red onion, tomato, feta & grapes
Chicken Satay
Satay sauce, cheese, marinated chicken, sliced red onion, baby spinach, cashews & aioli
Diablo
Spiced beef with plum sauce, pepperoni, onion and tomato finished with smoked havarti and honey mustard aioli
Lamborghini
Marinated lamb strips, plum sauce, cheese, pastrami, havarti & spinach with
caramelised red onion & roast garlic aioli