Iain's Birthday Weekend part 2

On Sunday we drove to the swanky suburb of Parnell for a late lunch/dinner at what has been called the best Italian restaurant in Auckland. We soon learned that "the best Italian restaurant in Auckland" is like saying "the best sushi in Oklahoma City" -- it's not much of a claim.

We should have known the place would suck just by looking at their horribly designed website:

http://www.nonsolopizza.co.nz/

It's worth checking out, just for the cheesy 80s art deco theme that has NOTHING to do with the restaurant, the difficult to read fonts, and the annoying flyouts when all you're looking for are their hours or the dinner menu.

Also, the actual menu, like the menu online, is totally annoying and overdone. It's a BOOK. It's got at least 20 pages in hardcover book form with tabs -- TABS. Gimme a break. Just put it all on one big piece of paper already. It was so irritating: "So Iain, I'm looking at the entreés right now -- um, I think it's Tab 4, two pages in. The wine list is tab 7, three pages in after cocktails."

The environment was nice. They had a big fire going which was such a treat because most places this time of year barely have heat, so we've been dressing in 2-3 layers in anticipation of freezing to death. Our server was really nice and 100% Italian. Encouraging.

We ordered a bottle of wine and the beef carpaccio. Puke. It was like someone took some leftover cold roast beef and threw it on the plate. It came with fried artichoke hearts that were incredible -- they should've been their own appetizer.


Then we had arrancini (rice balls) and cauliflower & artichoke fritters, and a wild mushroom dish. The mushrooms were just portobellas doused in balsamic vinegar - they were gross. The fritters were good but how tough is it to screw up something mashed and fried? The rice balls were also good (same theory) but should've come with some marinara sauce or something to dip them in.


Less than thrilled with the food so far, we contemplated leaving. But it was pouring outside, we had our wine, so we took our chances and continued ordering. Iain's tagliatelle with duck ragu could've been dog food or chicken or tofurkey. It was watery and tasted like nothing. I'm sure once it cooks longer and reduces down a bit, it would've had potential, but what we were served was below mediocre. I had the beetroot and ricotta ravioli (I tried to make this at home a few months ago without luck) that were delicious BUT were ruined by an oily beet and onion mess that was underneath the pasta. It was like a salsa almost, but of beets, onions, olive oil and WAY too much balsamic.

Our dessert - a rhubarb pannacotta - was fantastic. Figures. It's probably a different chef.

We paid the bill, complimented the server on her great job, and told the manager or hostess lady how disappointed we were with the food. It was obvious that her question, "How was everything?" was rhetorical. She didn't want or care about an honest answer. I don't understand why restaurants don't equip their staff with skills to handle the occasional disgruntled guest. Rather than actually listen to us, or - hey! - take something off of the rather large tab we'd accrued - she gave us a bored look and muttered lame and derogatory explanations like "Well, it's always been a popular dish with other customers" or "Well, the chef makes food with very subtle flavors so maybe you didn't pick up on it..."


We won't be going back. But it was fun otherwise -- it was really nice to hang out together for the day.